Category Archives: Erotica

Auburn in New York Chapter Three

As the elevator rose, so did the rate of my heartbeat.  In just a few minutes I would be in his apartment. Be with him.  Soon I would find myself doing something I never in my wildest dreams thought I had it in me to do.  When the elevator reached it’s destination my legs wouldn’t move.  I stood there frozen, holding my breath and rethinking my decision.  I closed my eyes and when I did I remembered his mouth on mine, his tongue dancing inside of it.  A delicious chill ran through my body and I couldn’t help but smile.  As the elevator doors started to close I found my arm reaching out to block them and make them open again.   I blew out a deep breath and willing my legs to comply stepped off the elevator.  I found myself standing in a large foyer with two doors.  I looked down at the card he gave me and noted that he had written Apartment B under his address.  I glanced in the mirror across from me, straightening my skirt and smoothing out my hair.  I thought for a moment about whether or not I should have Mia’s taser out and handy in case when I entered I ran into danger but that was not what I sensed when it came to Evan.  Even though I did not  know this man I did not feel he would harm me. I glanced quickly at my reflection again and then slowly walked to the door and knocked.  A moment later it was opened by an older gentleman, which surprised me.  I looked at the card again and then at the letter on the door.  Before I could speak the gentleman smiled at me.  “Ms. Daniels, please come in, Mr. James is expecting you.”  I smiled back at him while the question of how he knew my last name ran through my head.  As I stepped in I heard him close the door behind me and waited for him to lead me to Evan.  He extended his arm out for me to walk ahead of him which I did.  As we stepped out of  the long hallway and into the living room I was immediately overwhelmed by the sheer size of it.  The room was huge, at least three times the size of my whole apartment.  It was divided in ways to set the living area apart from the dining area which had dark wood  table large enough to seat at least a dozen people.  In the living area was a large marble bar and a built in fireplace with plush couches and chairs in various shapes, sizes and color throughout it.  Three of the walls were in fact not walls but floor to ceiling windows that overlooked Manhattan.  I stood motionless, absorbing my surroundings when I heard the gentleman who had opened the door clear his throat behind me.  I turned to face him and he smiled.  “Mr. Evans will be right with you.  He asked that you wait for him on the terrace. There is wine there for you should you so desire.”  I nodded at him again and took his cue walking towards the terrace door.  As I did I glanced behind me and watched as he collected a  jacket and briefcase from one of the chairs and then walk towards the door.  I heard it open, then close and assumed he had left.  That meant for all I knew I was now alone in this great big apartment with Evan, wherever he was at that moment.  I placed my bag on one of the couches and then walked to the terrace door, opening it and stepping outside. I gasped at the enormity of the view.  The terrace wrapped around two thirds of the apartment, allowing views of the Manhattan skyline from different angles.  I saw a bottle of wine in a basket on the table along with two glasses.  I walked over to the table and noticed it was my favorite, Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio.  It made me smile.  Inside I knew it was just a coicidence but still, I smiled.  I poured myself a glass and wondered if I should pour one for Evan as well.  I didn’t, not knowing if he would want one. My hand trembled as I poured and I chided myself for being so nervous.  I popped an olive in my mouth, taking it from a small bowl of them next to the wine.  It tasted delicious and I realized I was a bit hungry.  I took a large sip of wine hoping it would help me calm down and then walked around the terrace taking in the view.  To my right was a spectacular of my favorite building in New York, the Chrysler Building.  I drank some more wine, finishing what was in my glass and put it on a small table and sighed, feeling my body begin to relax.  I leaned on the railing and admired my surroundings. The sun, now just set, cast an amber gold on the buildings around me.  I had never known anyone that lived in a place like this, with a view like this.  Who was this man?  I noticed that the weather was starting to change, it got this way as the season started it’s journey out and Autumn came in to replace it.  I was sorry to see Summer go, I was much more of a warmth than cold type of person never being able to tolerate anything below fifty degrees.  I just hoped that Winter would be kind to my city that year and I wouldn’t have to endure one bout of snow after the other as in years past.

The skin on the back of my neck prickled and I felt his gaze on me before even turning around.  I slowly turned and I was correct. There he was,  Evan James, standing there,  looking at me with a slight smile.  He had removed his jacket and now just wore  his dark grey pants and white shirt, a couple of more buttons were undone than earlier.  He slowly walked towards me and with each step I felt my body react.  “I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting Alex but I was on the phone. Business. It couldn’t be avoided.” I swallowed, my mouth was suddenly dry and I glanced at the empty glass near me, wishing I had left at least a sip in it for this moment. I smiled at him, hoping it would hide my nervousness.

“That’s fine. I only just got here a few minutes ago.”

He nodded and smiled again, a crooked sexy smile that sent a jolt through my body.  “I know.  Right on time too. I’m almost disappointed about that.”  He stood in front of me and placed a soft chaste kiss on my lips.  Then noticing my empty glass walked over to the table to retrieve the bottle as well as the other glass. I watched him walk, noticing that he had one of the finest asses I had ever seen.  I felt myself bite my lip as I thought about good he must look naked.  When he turned back towards me he looked as if he was about to say something but didn’t, instead he smirked and I knew he had caught me eyeing him.  I blushed and turned away, embarrassed.  He walked back over to me, pouring himself a glass of wine as he did and then poured some into my glass and placed the bottle on the table.  He handed me my now full glass but stopped me when I went to drink from it. “Uh, uh. We must have a toast.”

“A toast?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“To what?”

“To us.”   I almost gasped.  Us?  How was there an us yet?  We had just met for the first time that evening. “Or actually, to what brought us together.”

“And what would that be?” I asked.

“Curiosity. Courage. Desire.” My mouth opened a bit on his last word, making him smile that crooked sexy smile again.  He reached out and gently ran his thumb along my bottom lip.  I felt my legs shake and was grateful at that moment to be leaning against the terrace railing.  “Your curiosity, your courage and your desire is why you are here Alex.  I find your bravery to be intoxicating.”

“Bravery?”

“Yes. It is not easy to go after what you want.  By you responding to my ad, to agreeing to meet me at the cafe and most importantly to come here to my apartment all alone, that is very brave.”  He took a step closer to me and for a moment I wondered if I should have kept my bag with the taser close by.  He seemed to notice the look in my eyes and stepped even closer.  “There is no need to be afraid Alex.  I told you, I will not harm you.  I am not a psycho serial killer and while my motives to having you hear are not exactly..” he paused with a slight smile “… pure, they are not evil.”

I looked at him, really looked at him now and was taken aback by how handsome he was.  He looked to be in his late forties, his hair, once completely dark was now scattered with streaks of grey.  His eyes, the color of dark chocolate were mesmerizing and when he smiled, the wrinkles on the side of them made him even more alluring.  He was clean shaven and his chin was strong.  I noticed a faint scar along the bottom of it and felt the urge to reach out and kiss it.  He raised his glass to me and I in turn raised mine.  “So, a toast, to you, to me, to us and to exploring the fun we might have with each other.”  I looked him in the eye as I touched my glass to his, recalling a friend once tell me it was bad luck to look away when toasting.  He took a small sip of wine, I took a larger one, still nervous.  He then took the glass from my hand and placed both of them on the table next to us.  “So do you like the view?” he asked, his question throwing me off guard.  I nodded and unable to breath under his gaze slowly turned to look at it again, allowing myself a moment to catch my breath.  He stepped closer to me until I felt his body against mine.  He placed his hands on either side of me on the railing, effectively trapping me.  “Which is your favorite? The Chrysler?”

“How did you know?” I asked.

“When I came out here I saw you looking at it. Its mine as well.”  He took one of his hands and gently brushed my hair back to one side and gently nuzzled my neck.  I felt myself swoon as he placed soft gentle kisses along my neck up to my ear.  He breathed in and then sighed. “You smell wonderful Alex” he whispered in my ear.  For some reason, a man whispering in my ear had always been a big turn on for me and it was no exception when it came to him.  I shivered a bit when his teeth gently nibbled on my earlobe. “Are you cold?”

“No. I’m fine.” I answered back.

“Then is it me that is making you shake?”  he whispered in my ear.

“Yes.”

“Yes what?” he asked.  I closed my eyes and smiled, feeling myself lean back into him.

“Yes Evan.”

I felt his smile against my neck.  He continued to kiss my neck and then took his hand and placed it on my jaw, turning my head towards him.  Our eyes locked for a moment before his mouth crushed down upon mine, consuming me in a deep passionate kiss.  I felt his erection against my backside and moaned as he pressed into me.  Soon he turned my body around, pinning me against the terrace railing as we kissed.  My arms reached up and around to his back.  I felt his muscular form through the thin material of his shirt and felt myself pulling him even closer against me. It made him moan as our kiss deepened. I was lost in the passion as his tongue played with mine.  His hands ran down the length of me, to the small of my back and then lower to my ass as he squeezed it and pressed his body into mine. A moment later he pulled back, his eyes looking into mine with what looked like surprise. I leaned in to kiss him again but he shook his head and stepped back.  I felt crushed, was he rejecting me?  He took his glass of wine and took a very large gulp from it and I noticed his hand shake. Was he nervous as well?

“What is it Evan?” I asked.  “Did I do something wrong?”

He looked at me in a way that relayed that he didn’t understand my question and then stepped forward and took my hand. He then smiled and kissed it. “No Alex. You did nothing wrong. I just don’t think we should get all fired up until we talk.”

“Talk about what?”

“Us. What this will be between us.”

“Oh.”

“Are you hungry?”  His question surprised me, after all I wasn’t expecting to come here to eat.  I thought I had come here to have sex with this handsome stranger.  The truth was while I was hungry, I didn’t think I could eat with all the flip flops going on in my stomach at the moment.  I shook my head in response to his question. “Maybe later?” he asked and I smiled and nodded, grateful that there would be a later.  He looked at my smile and I saw him sigh and then drink the remainder of what was in his glass.  He handed me my glass and then picked up the bottle.  “Shall we sit?”  he asked motioning to a nearby set of chairs.  I nodded and walked towards them, feeling his gaze on me as I did.  It made me smile and feel warm in all the right places.  He placed the wine on the table and then pulled out a chair for me. He refreshed my glass and refilled his own before taking a seat across from me.  I took a sip and then leaned back, meeting his eyes with my own. “Before this goes any further Alex, i just think we should establish what this is going to be.”

“Okay.” I warily answered and took another sip.

“Are you looking to just get fucked?” he asked, the question making me nearly spit out my Pinot. “Are you okay?” he asked with a chuckle.  I nodded but did not answer his question,  The truth was I didn’t know how to answer it.  What was I looking for?  I knew it wasn’t a quickie fuck.  No I was looking for a lover.  Someone to help me release my inner wants and needs but had been suppressing for years.  I drank some more wine. “I ask because you just don’t seem like the type of woman to want just that.”

“What type of woman do I seem to be then?” I asked boldly.

His finger came up and tapped upon his bottom lip as his narrowed, studying me. “I haven’t completely decided on that yet.  Like I said before, you are curious and brave, that I know. I think you have been suppressing your desires for so long now that you aren’t exactly sure how to express what you really want.  In your e-mail you told me that my post spoke to you.  That there was a dark side to you that you had kept under wraps all this time.” I looked down, trying to recall every word of the response I had sent to his post. “Look at me Alex.” he said sternly.  I looked up at him, catching my breathe when seeing the intense look in his eyes.  I unfolded and then again folded my legs.  I felt my panties becoming moist again with that look.  He seemed to notice my discomfort and tried to hold back a smile. “What you need to know, what you need to accept before we go any further is that what you want, what you want me to do to you, with you…it isn’t dark Alex.  It isn’t bad or wrong and there is absofuckinluetly nothing wrong with you for wanting such things.  You need to accept that here and now.  If you can’t, then you are still suppressing your desires. Understand?”

“I think so.”

“I told you Alex, you have to stop thinking so much and allow yourself to start feeling.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know baby.  That is why you are here.  If you weren’t trying you would have never shown up at the cafe.”

“Why didn’t you show up?” I asked.

“But I did.”

“You didn’t come in.”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Why?”

A smile played across his lips as he looked down at the wine in his glass and then took a small sip before placing the glass on the table.  “At first I was watching from across the street. I was there about five minutes before I saw you go in.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“I had a feeling. It was the way you hesitated before you went in, like you were second guessing whether or not you should.”

“Oh.”

“After a few minutes I walked across the street and looked inside, just out of view so you wouldn’t see me.”

“Why?”

“I wanted to watch you.”  The way he said it, with that intense look in his eyes made me gasp.  He smiled.  “I wanted to see how you reacted to me not being there.”

“And what did you see?”

“You are very insecure about yourself, aren’t you Alex?”  I looked down again.  How did he know that just by watching me. “You shouldn’t be.  You are a beautiful woman.”  I tried to smile, be polite the way I was taught to be when someone paid you a compliment even if you didn’t believe what they said.  I looked up at him and he was shaking his head but I didn’t know why. “Do you honestly think because you aren’t a skinny little model type you aren’t beautiful?”  I didn’t know how to respond to his statement.

“I don’t know.” I finally managed to say and then finished my wine.

“Well, you should know, because you are lovely.  I watched you as you kept checking your watch and phone.  After about fifteen minutes I saw your whole demeanor change.”

“I thought you had stood me up.”

“I know and I am sorry about that.  I just needed to know that you really wanted this.”

“And?”

“And you could have walked out after ten minutes or been a complete bitch when you thought I had stood you up. Instead I saw the look on your face.  It wasn’t frustration or bitchiness, it was disappointment which made me realize how much this meeting meant to you. That pleased me, very much.”

“Why?”

“Because now I know you are serious.  When I kissed you outside the cafe you didn’t push me away, I felt the desire inside of you and I then knew how much you wanted this. So again, I ask you, what is it that you want Alex?”

“You.” I heard myself say without hesitation. My answer seemed to surprise the both of us.

“Good.” he whispered back.

“What do you want Evan?” I asked him.  He allowed that crooked sexy smile to pass his lips and then stood and held his hand out to me.  I took it, my legs shaking but with enough strength to stand as well.  He gently tugged at my hand to follow him inside.  As he opened the door I heard music playing that hadn’t been before, a smooth jazz highlighted by a saxophone.  He closed the door behind us and walked over to a long backless couch which curled up on each side.  He motioned for me to sit and then walked around so that when he sat next to me, we were sitting opposite of one another but still eye to eye.  He took my hand and gently kissed it then placed it back down on the couch between us, his fingers gently circling my palm, I felt it to my toes.  “What I want Alex” he said in almost a whisper “Is to be the man that you trust enough to let yourself go with.”  He looked into my eyes and sensed my hesitation.  “I can’t give you love or happily ever after Alex so if that is what you want, what you need, then you should go now before anything else happens.”  I looked down not knowing what to say.  The truth was that I didn’t think I even believed in love anymore.  I had given my heart away a couple of times in my life and had it broken.  The last time had been so devastating that it left me with an emptiness that I vowed I would never allow myself to feel again.  I didn’t need love again.  It had been three years since my heart had been devasted and I had not allowed anyone to touch me since then.  Now, sitting here so close to Evan, his finger tracing the inside of my palm, making every inch of me feel alive, I realized that what I wanted was to feel wanted. To feel desired.  I wanted someone to understand me, physically at least in a way no one else had ever done before.  I wanted a lover who would help me discover all the feelings that were bottled up inside of me and were aching to be released.  I wanted, I needed someone to not judge me or make me feel dirty for what I wanted.  What I wanted was Evan.  I looked up at him and dredging every ounce of courage he said I had leaned in and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

“I don’t want happily ever after Evan.”

“Then what do you want Alex?”

“I want you Evan. I want you to” I paused “…help me.”

“Help you?” he asked with a look of confusion in his eyes. “Help you what?”

“Help me be the woman I want to be. ”  The confusion in his eyes gradually changed to one of knowing exactly what I meant.  He raised my hand to his lips and gently kissed it again and then leaned in and kissed me softly.  He leaned in closer, tracing his tongue across my neck to my ear.  “I will Alex.” he whispered in my ear.  “I will help you and guide you. I will show you that when it comes to being with me, it’s okay to give me control. That pleasure and pain are not exclusive.”  He bit down on my earlobe, hard, making me cry out softly which made him smile. “I will teach you that there is nothing wrong with wanting the things you want.  I will do things with you, to you that you only dreamed of before.” He traced his tongue across my neck again and then leaned back.  I was breathing heavy and he smiled when he saw the look in my eyes. “Baby, I am going to make you feel so good.”  he whispered  and then gently nibbled on my bottom lip and then released it and leaned back.

“So” I said, my voice weak “Are you a Dominant?”  He laughed out loud, a wonderful laugh that made me smile.  He shook his head and sighed heavily.

“No Alex, I would not call myself that just like as I wouldn’t ever call you my Submissive.  It is true that I enjoy dominating a woman, sexually that is but not all the time and not in all the ways you may have read about.”  I blushed and looked down. How did he know all the research I had done on the subject of BDSM?  He lifted my chin to look at him.

“Is that what you want Alex? Are you looking to be a Submissive?”

“Not exactly.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“But you are interested in exploring aspects of it, right?”  I lowered my gaze again, making him raise my chin more with his hand.  “Look at me Alex.”  I did and caught my breath when seeing the intensity of his gaze.  “You want to push the boundaries further than you have ever done before. You want me to control you sexually at times.  You want to know what it feels like to be blindfolded, tied up, spanked and maybe more?”   I stared at him.  How did he know that all he said was exactly what I wanted?  “I will take control if you let me Alex.  I will do things to you if you allow me.  I will never do anything to degrade or humiliate you and I am not a Sadist.” He raised a finger from my chin to my lower lip and ran it slowly across it. “But when we play Alex, and we will play, when I am in control, you must do as I say.  If you don’t, well, then I will punish you and will enjoy doing so. Understand?”  I found a way to nod my head and he smiled.  His arm reached up my back to the nape of my neck and tugged at my hair, pulling it down so that my head arched up to his waiting mouth. He devoured it with his own making me moan.  When he felt me reach up to him his other hand took hold of both my wrists and held them together and down on my lap.  He kissed me deeper, holding my head in place with his hand against the back of my neck.  When he finally released my mouth he looked down into my eyes and smiled.  He nibbled my bottom lip again and then released it. “Last chance.” he whispered.

“For what?” I asked trying to catch my breath.

“For you to leave. To walk out that door and never look back.”

“I don’t want to go.” I answered softly, my insecurities thinking maybe he wanted me to go.  But then he smiled and closed his eyes.  When he opened them, their intensity had changed to that darker, sexier look I had caught a glimpse of earlier.  I knew at that moment that nothing could have made me leave.

“Good, because I don’t want you to leave Alex.  But you need to know something about what is and is not going to happen tonight.”

“Okay.”

“We are not going to have sex tonight.”

“Oh.” I said the disappointment in my voice obvious and my insecurities firing back up again.

“Tonight is all about establishing trust. Sex will come, but not tonight.  Maybe tomorrow.” he said with a boyish grin.  His statement surprised me.

“Tomorrow?” I asked.

“Perhaps.  We’ll see how it goes tonight.  You can stay the night can’t you?”  I thought about it for a moment. I didn’t expect to stay the night with him.  I didn’t even expect to be at his apartment. I had convinced myself that nothing would come of our meeting after the cafe.  But here he was, asking me to stay the night with him.  The truth was that there was no reason why I couldn’t.  Of course I didn’t have a change of clothes with me, but suddenly was grateful to have a toothbrush in my bag.  I looked down and then back up at him, he was waiting for my answer.  I nodded, which made him smile.

“Would you excuse me for a moment?” I asked suddenly needing the restroom.  The wine had gone to my head and I needed a moment to myself.  “Washroom?” I asked.

“Second door on your right from where you came in.”  I nodded and picked up my bag off the nearby couch as I walked away.  I marveled at how my legs were still able to function.  His kisses had made them feel like Jello.  I entered the restroom and locked the door behind me and leaned back on it, a deep breath escaping from between my lips.  I placed my bag on the large marbled vanity and held onto it for a moment before looking at my reflection.  The flush in my cheeks was evident and all traces of my lipstick had vanished from his kisses.  I proceeded to take care of business, noticing that my panties were soaked.  I wished I had brought another pair with me, especially now if I was staying the night with him.  As I washed my hands I looked again at my reflection and smiled.  But it was a different  smile than I usually had.  It was sexier and carefree.  Had he already been able to do this to me? Already been able to make me feel this way?  I quickly brushed my teeth and rinsed out my mouth.  I cupped water in my hands and drank some, coating my dry throat.  I decided that it wasn’t worth it to put on more lipstick and ran a quick comb through my auburn hair, bringing some life back into it.  I looked again at my reflection and sighed.  Picking up my bag I exited the washroom and walked back into the living room.

Evan was standing at the window, staring out, his back to me.  I placed my bag down and walked up behind him.  He seemed to be lost in thought as he watched the lights of the night skyline begin to emerge.  As I reached out to put my arms around his waist from behind he jumped and quickly grabbed me, pushing me up hard up against the glass window.  The quickness and force of his reaction surprised me.  When he realized it was me he quickly eased up on the pressure in which he was holding me but didn’t let go. I realized his actions had been a reflex and that I had startled him when I came up behind him.  “I’m sorryAlex, you just surprised me. Did I hurt you?”

“No.  I’m sorry to have startled you.  You didn’t even hear me walk up to you.  Penny for your thoughts?”  The crooked smile crossed his lips and he eased his body into mine and devoured my mouth with his own.  After a moment he pulled back and smiled. “Brushed your teeth huh?”  I smiled and looked down.  His hand pulled my head up by my chin and he laughed.    “I like a woman who is prepared.  What else did you bring in your bag of tricks?”  I knew what he meant.  He was asking if I brought my vibrator like he had told me to.  I found myself biting my lip again which he seemed to like as I felt  his erection grow against my leg.  “I told you Alex. Tonight is all about trust.  Now, get it for me.”  He released me and stepped back, his eyes never leaving mine.  I suddenly felt embarrassed, actually each time I had looked in my bag that day and saw the plastic bag I had it in made me feel that way.  As I left for work that morning I had this dreadful premonition of knocking my bag to the floor in public at some point in the day and having someone discover what I was carrying around with me.  When I didn’t move he took a step towards me again.  “Don’t make me ask you again Alex.”  he whispered.  The tone in his voice was different, more commanding me than asking me and it turned me on.  I took a deep quick breath in when he spoke and then slowly walked over to my bag and took the plastic bag out of it.  I walked back and handed it to him.  He smirked when he saw it wrapped in a dark plastic bag, under that, in a ziplock bag.  He took it out and examined it in front of me, making me blush.  Never had anyone else held my vibrator in their hands, especially in front of me.  It was a normal one, modeled to look like a penis, not exactly a large one, but it did the trick.  As he examined it I couldn’t look at him.  He seemed to chuckle at it and then noticed my apprehension.  “How long have you had this?” he asked.

“A few years.” I answered.

“How many?” he asked.  I thought about it for a moment, recalling that I had gotten it a gift from one of my gay friends who felt I would need it after my last breakup.

“About three.”

“Hmm, I think it’s time we bought you a new one then.” He switched it on, the buzzing sound making me feel even more mortified.  He quickly switched it off and seemed amused by my discomfort. “Don’t be embarrassed baby.” he said.  “I’m just trying to see what makes you tick. Or actually what makes you come. Does this do it for you Alex?” he asked taking a step towards me, almost touching me.

“It has.” I answered bravely looking at him.

“Is this the ideal size cock for you?” he asked as he reached out, taking my hand and placing it on his own throbbing erection “or would this be more to your liking?”  He took my hand and rubbed it up and down the length of him which even through his pants I could feel was much bigger and thicker than the replica he held in his other hand.  I smiled and boldly pressed my palm against his hardness, pressing down and rubbing him, making his mouth open a bit with a groan.  He moved his hand but I kept it there, running my fingers along the length of him, feeling him grow even harder as I did.  His hips swayed against my hand and he leaned in closer to me.  “Do you want that Alex?” he whispered.  I licked my lips and nodded my head, my eyes never leaving his.  I continued to run my hand up and down the legth of him and then bravely reached for the belt on his pants.  He stopped me, taking my hand and pulling it away.  I heard a slight whimper escape my mouth and he laughed.  “Not yet Alex. Not yet.”

I reached up to kiss him, I wanted his mouth on mine but he pulled back and walked away from me.  He placed the vibrator on a table near the couch we had been sitting at and then looked back at me.  “Come here.” he said in a low husky, sexy as hell voice.  I walked over to him and stopped in front of him.  He ran one of his hands down my face, caressing my cheek.  “I told you, tonight is about trust Alex.  Tonight you will learn that you could trust me.  Tonight I will kiss you and touch you…everywhere.”  I caught my breath, making him smile.  He ran his thumb along the bottom of my lip and then slowly inserted it into my mouth and I sucked on it.  He closed his eyes and bit his lip as he felt my tongue twirl around it. When he opened his eyes again, they were darker, more intense.  He pulled his thumb from my mouth and traced my lips with it.  I stepped closer to him and pressed my hand against his erection again. “And will I be allowed to kiss and touch you everywhere?” I asked.  He moaned as my palm pressed against him and he stepped back.

“Perhaps later. First I need to know that you trust me. Then I will see if I could trust you.”

“How?”  I asked and he stepped back again, my hand dropping to my side.  He walked over to a shelf on the wall and he took down a small box.  He placed it on the bar and opened it.  His back was to me so I couldn’t see what was in it.  He pulled something from it and put it in his pocket. He then closed the box and placed it behind the bar.  He turned back and walked over to a couch some distance away from me and sat down on it.   “Undress for me Alex.”  he said and leaned back into the cushions.  I swallowed hard and quickly looked around at the glass walls.  He noticed what I was worried about.  “Don’t worry baby, no one could see inside.  No, the only person who will see you is me.”  While comforted by the fact that the view inside was a private one I still felt nervous.  I wasn’t comfortable with my figure with clothes on, in this bright light I felt even more unsure of undressing in front of him.  I looked at him, his crooked sexy smile was back.  “Don’t let me tell you again Alex.” he said with a warning.  My breath became quicker as I removed the jacket I was wearing, placing it on a chair next to where I was standing.  As I began to unbutton my blouse he interrupted me. “Slower Alex.” he said “and come closer.”    I looked down at him and for the first time that evening I realized that the look in his eyes was filled with desire. Desire for me.  I was surprised by it but welcomed it as well.  I felt a small smile cross my lips as I walked closer to him, a new swing in my hips as I did.  He smiled as he noticed it as well.  “Stop right there. ” he said when I was about three feet in front of him.  “Now slowly Alex, unbutton your blouse.”   As I did what he told me I never let my eyes leave him.  I pulled the bottom of my blouse from my skirt and undid the last button.  I then opened it and let it fall off my shoulders to the floor.  He tapped his finger against his bottom lip and his gaze met mine.  “Now your skirt.  Slowly Alex.”  As I reached for the side zipper I was suddenly grateful for my friend Susan who worked as a buyer for the lingerie department at Macy’s and who always gave me samples of what she bought. Until that night I couldn’t recall the last time I had used any of them but at that moment was happy to have them.  I had chosen a lacy black and white set which accented my breasts and hugged my curves in all the right places.  I slowly lowered and then stepped out of my skirt, gently kicking it to the side next to my blouse.  I reached for the back of the bra when Evan stood and stopped me. “Leave everything else on for now” he said and slowly closed the distance between us.  his eyes scanned over me and instead of showing disappointment, displayed appreciation. “Turn around, let me see all of you.” I slowly turned around for him and when I faced him again he was smiling.  He stepped closer and I felt his breathe on my lips.  “You are beautiful Alex.  Never doubt that.”  But ofcourse, I did.  I was too large to be wearing such delicate things and suddenly felt naked.  “I have always appreciated the form of a real woman’s body” he said and ran his fingers along my abdomen and waist.  “The way it curves and bends.” he ran his fingers from both hands down to my outer thighs and then walked behind me and cupped my ass, making me moan.  He leaned into me and ran his fingers around the front of me, one arm wrapping around my shoulder and across my chest as the other ran up and down the side of my waist.  He pushed my hair to the side and traced soft gentle kisses along my shoulder and neck.  With his arm pulling me back, I felt myself lean into him, his erection throbbing against me. His mouth continued it’s gentleness, lightly touching my skin with his lips. moving up until it was at my ear.  “Do you feel how much I want you Alex?’ he asked and gently began to sway, his cock throbbing against me.  “Do you want me Alex?” he asked in a low husky voice.

“Yes.”  I whispered as his fingers gently ran across my bare skin and up to my breasts, grasping one then the other tighter.

“Yes what?”

“Yes Evan.”

“Good girl.”  His teeth closed down on my earlobe and I cried out.  His hand moved from across my chest and pressed upward, making me lean my head back ad he pulled me even closer against him.  His fingers ran along my throat and gently closed a little tighter. “Do you trust me Alex?” He whispered in my ear.

“Yes Evan.” I said breathing heavily as his fingers played across my throat.

“Are you sure?” he asked and closed his grip a little tighter around my throat.  I was frightened for a moment, more from being turned on by what he was doing than by thinking he was going to hurt me.

“Yes.”  He tightened them a little more and with his other hand pulled my hair back, making me whimper.

“Yes what Alex?” he seethed in my ear.

“Yes Evan.”

His grasp loosened from my throat and his hands ran over my body, resting on my breasts, cupping them in his hands.  “You must trust me Alex.  You must trust that I will never hurt you.  I will never leave a mark on you for anyone to see.  Whatever I do to you will because you want me to do, that you will allow me to do it. Even though it may not seem that way, you ultimately will have the control of what happens. If you say stop, I will stop.  If you say no, I understand it means no.  You allowing me to control you, it’s really the other way around.  Understand baby?”

“Yes Evan.”

“Good girl.”  He kissed my neck and then stepped back. “Turn around and face me Alex.”  I turned to face him and was pleased to see the look of pure carnal desire in his eyes.  “Kiss me.” he said.  I stepped forward and placed my hands on his shouders and slowly placed my lips on his.  He parted his mouth and allowed my tongue access to his.  His hands reached around to my ass and pulled me closer to him and returned my kiss.  Evan was an amazing kisser, something that I found to be a huge turn on.  Kissing itself was one of my favorite parts of foreplay.  We stood there, kissing for what seemed like forever before he pulled back a bit and smiled, his eyes still closed.  “I love the way you kiss Alex.” he whispered. “Come.” He took my hand and walked me to the backless couch we had been sitting on before. “Sit.” he told me and I did.  He walked around behind me and I thought he was going to sit next to me like before but he didn’t.  Instead I felt his hands on my shoulders.  He started to massage them, releasing the tension that was there as he stood behind me.  “I know you say that you trust me and while a part of me believes you, I need to be sure.”  I didn’t know what he meant by that.  He stopped massaging me, taking one hand off my shoulder and reached into his pocket to retrieve what he had put there earlier.  I felt something cool against my skin as he traced a long piece of silk against it. “I’m going to blindfold you now Alex.  And then I am going to touch you and kiss you all over your body.” I heard myself catch my breath. “Do you trust me to do this Alex?” he asked from behind me.  I closed my eyes and felt myself nod.  I felt him place the fabric over my eyes and tie it tight at the back of my head.  “See anything?” he asked and I shook my head.  “Good.  Now, lie down.” he told me and with his hands helped me lie flat on the couch.  It was long enough so that my entire body lay flat without touching either end.  “Good girl” I heard him say and then move around. “I wanted you blindfolded because I need to see how you react to my touch.  Where you are most sensitive to it.  Your other senses will be more attuned because you can’t see anything.”  I tried to follow the sounds of his movements as he spoke.  I was breathing hard and heavy and he hadn’t evenreally touched me yet.  “I want to see where you like to be touched. What makes you moan.” I caught my breath and felt myself lift a finger across my lips and hold it between my teeth. “And you will moan Alex.” he continued as I heard him walk around the couch.  “And I want to hear you moan and when I make you come, which I will do Alex, probably more than once, I want to hear you scream baby.” A whimper escaped from my throat, I wanted him to touch me.  My body was aching for him to touch me.

“Now Alex.”  I heard him say from where he was standing at the head of the couch behind me. “Put your hands up above your head.” I did as I was told and felt him hold my wrists down, feeling them rest along the top of the curved end of the couch. “Good. Now I do not want you to move them down from here no matter how much you will want to.  Do not try to cover yourself or touch me when I am touching you. Understood?”  I nodded and swallowed hard.  He released my wrists and I heard him move around again, stopping at the foot of the couch.   “‘This is all about trust Alex.  You trusting me.  If you can do what I tell you now, then we could move on from here. Okay?”  I nodded again.  I felt exposed, excited, desired. Feelings I had not felt in so long but what I was feeling now, this intensity, it was different than anything I had ever felt before.  I felt him reach for my heels and heard one then the other fall to the floor when he removed them.  He took my right foot in his hand and began to massage it, running his fingers across the bottom of them and then I felt his mouth gently nip at the arch of my foot, making me gasp and my back arch.  I had to remember not to move my hands down and closed my hands over each wrist to hold them steady against the couch. I felt his smile against the skin of my foot. “Relax Alex.”  I lowered my back and tried to steady my breathing.  “Good girl”  he whispered. “Now, we begin.”


Auburn in New York Chapter Two

He was late.

The insecurities that always lived inside of me were starting to overtake the confidence I had mustered when agreeing to meet him at this cafe.   We had only spoken for a few minutes on the phone Wednesday night but after that conversation I don’t think I could have said no.  My stomach had been in knots all day and every time I thought about what could happen my mouth went dry and I found my heart pounding.  At least a dozen times during the day I had convinced myself that it was a mistake to go, that I would only be setting myself up for a disappointment.  Either Evan would stand me up and I would feel foolish or he would show up, be hideous and I wouldn’t want to be with him or he would see me and walk away.  Of course the worst case scenario was that he would turn out to be perfect, that I would go back to his place with him, that he would turn out to be a serial killer and I would be dead by midnight.

I had confided in one friend what I was doing this evening, Mia.   She had started working at my office a few years ago and even though she was about ten years my junior, she and I bonded over our love of the Mets as well as our hatred over some of the traveling company bosses who came in a few times a year.  She was so many things I had always wished I could be, open-minded and carefree when it came to relationships and sex.  She exuded a confidence in her self that attracted men like crazy.   She was always urging me to be more open to life, to men, urging me more than once when we had gone out to go talk to a man, let a man buy me a drink, let a man take me home.  Of course I had never took her advice and always ended up leaving alone while she left with one handsome man or another.  I, unlike others we worked with never judged her.  I was actually in awe of  the confidence she possessed.

She had noticed something different about me this morning.  She actually came into my office at lunch, sat across from me and smiled. “Spill it Alex. What’s his name?”  I couldn’t believe it.  Was the blush on my cheeks that obvious?  I tried to stonewall her but within two minutes she had me spilling my guts.  She actually clapped her hands with glee when I told her I had agreed to meet Evan this evening, telling me that it was about time I explored my wild side.   She also warned me to be careful, insisting that if I decided to go back to his apartment that I text her the address, just in case I turned up missing.   Before leaving the office she came back to my office, gave me a big hug and slipped me a small taser device which she had to explain to me how to use. When finished she told me not to hesitate to use it if I felt I was in danger.

But now, as I sat here in the cafe the only danger I felt I was in was being made to look like a desperate foolish woman.  As I sipped my wine I felt my confidence waning fast.  When I had entered the cafe twenty minutes earlier my heart had been  pounding and I felt the new lace panties I was wearing already starting to get moist.  I had yet to lay eyes on him and I already had a burning inside for him. I had looked around the cafe and was disappointed to see no one sitting alone. I took a seat by myself at a small table, ordered a glass of Pinot Grigio and waited and waited.   I checked my phone a few times, no messages from him.  I accessed my e-mail, again, nothing.   How long should I sit here?  How much longer would I need to convince myself that I had been a fool to show up in the first place?

I checked my phone once more and decided I had waited long enough.  He had said that if I was late that it would tell him I had changed my mind.   Obviously he was the one who had changed his mind.  I blew out a long, slow breathe and stood up to leave.  I felt a head rush and realized the one glass of wine had already affected me probably because I had not be able to put any food in my stomach the whole day.  I finished  the remnants of the wine and then glanced at the cafe’s large front window and gasped.  Evan. It had to be him.  I had never set eyes upon him before but knew immediately it was him.   He was dressed in a dark grey suit with no tie, the top two buttons on the crisp white shirt undone.   His hair was dark and his eyes, dark as well, were memorizing.   A small sexy smirk crept across his full lips when he saw that I realized who he was.   He then smiled and crooked his finger,  inviting me to join him.    He then disappeared from my view.  Slowly I walked outside and saw him standing next to the cafe.  I walked to him,  not saying a word.   As I got closer, he took a few steps back, a sexy sly smile on his face, his beautiful dark eyes never leaving mine.   He crooked his finger again, making me smile as I followed him.  As the space between him and the building  behind him disappeared he reached out and grabbed my hand.  He pulled me to him, spinning my body around and pressing  it up against the wall, his body leaning into mine as he held both my hands now with one of his behind my back.  He slowly licked his lips, making me gasp.  Slowly he tilted his head down and leaned his mouth next to my ear.  “I am so glad you decided to show up Alex” he whispered, his low, husky voice making my knees weak.  “I’ve been watching you for a while. Wondering how long you would wait for me.  I am so happy to see that you have patience.”

He took my earlobe between his teeth and  gently bit down, making my body convulse as a low moan escaped my lips. I felt him smile against my neck and the hardness of his cock grow against my thigh.  “Are you sure that you are ready to start exploring  what you want Alex?   All the things I wrote about?” he asked me, again in a low whisper as his lips and tongue began to graze along my lobes and neck.  I couldn’t move and wondered for a moment if I was as ready for all this as I had hoped I would be.  When I hesitated to answer he pulled my head back gently by my hair and looked down at me, his eyes piercing into mine. He held my gaze and gently ran his tongue across my lips. “I won’t hurt you.” he whispered. “much” he continued and pulled my lower lip with his teeth, biting on it just enough to make me moan again.

“Believe me, harming you is not what I want. There is no pleasure in that.  But I do promise you that if you let me, if you let yourself, we will do things that you have never done before.  You will feel pleasure in a way you had only dreamed of.   Isn’t that what you want Alex?  Isn’t that why you agreed to meet me?”  he asked again staring me in the eyes.  Suddenly his mouth crushed down upon mine and my lips parted as his tongue invaded my mouth.  It danced with my own and I was overwhelmed by my desire for this man. I wanted to touch him but his hand held both of mine firmly behind me and that excited me even more.  Suddenly he pulled his mouth way from mine and I found myself  panting.   He smiled at this and nodded.  “Yes, that is what you want”  he whispered and he was right.

With his free hand he slowly began to trace his fingertips up my body to my chest and then gently cupped my breast.  My eyes looked around, we were in public but he didn’t seem to care which only excited me more.  His fingers gently traced along the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my nipple respond, hardening under his touch.   A low moan escaped from my throat and this made him smile.  He stopped and reached into his pocket, pulling out a card.  He ran it along my lip, my chin and down my chest before placing it inside my bra.  “I expect you to be at this address in ten minutes.  If you are not, I will assume you changed you mind. I hope you don’t.  If you show up any later than ten minutes, well, then I will have to find a way to teach you to be more punctual.”   He stepped back and released me, smiling as he saw me reach for the wall to balance myself.

His eyes ran down the length of my body, making me feel self-conscious.  A look of carnal desire passed over his eyes and he gently bit down on his lower lip.   “I can’t wait to get you out of those clothes Alex”  he whispered and then without looking back walked away.  I watched him as he continued down the block and disappear around the corner.

I felt my body release a deep breath.

Had that just happened?

Did I just let Evan,  still a stranger to me, a total sexy as hell stranger kiss and feel me up without saying a word to him?  My knees shook and my insides were jumping.   The wetness that had started earlier was now in overdrive and I felt the juices about to pour out of me from my most private place.   Just the thought of what had just happened, of what could happen next if I met him in ten minutes.  I pulled the card from my bra and noticed the address was not too far from where I was now.  Would I go there? Could I?  I had never done anything like this before. As  frightened as a part of me was to go there, a part of me felt alive in a way I hadn’t known before.

Was it in me to do this? I ran my tongue along my bottom lip, already sore from where he had nibbled on it and smiled. Yes, I could. Yes, I would.

For once I would do what my body and not my mind told me to do. I smiled and began to slowly walk down the block and turned at the corner, a smile creeping across my mouth.   As I walked, I felt sexy, which was a foreign concept to me.  But I did. I felt sexy and had a swing in my step that wasn’t there this morning.   About seven minutes later I was standing in front of the building that held the address he had given me.  I looked up at the gleaming glass on it, the sun that was beginning to dip in the sky painting it in hues of gold and orange.   I sent a text with the address to Mia just in case I turned up missing. I also told her I would text her again in a few hours just to let her know I was alive.

As I approached the entrance a young doorman opened the large etched glass door for me, tipping his hat with a smile.   Before I could speak he told me that Mr. James was expecting me and the elevators were to the back and left.  How did he know who I was?  Did Evan believe that me showing up was that much of a given fact?  I tried to smile at him as I walked inside, the cool air making my skin prickly.  Evan James, what a great name I thought with a smile as I walked to the elevators, my heels clicking on the marble floor.   As I stood at the elevator I glanced at  the mirrored panel and stepped back, almost not recognizing the person looking back at me.  But then, I realized who I was looking at, it was the woman inside of me yearning to get out, to explore the sexual secrets she had long buried.  I smiled…I liked the way she looked. My smile grew wider as the elevator door opened and I stepped in, pressing the button for the thirtieth floor, realizing as I did that it was the top floor in the building.

As the elevator took flight, so did my anxiety.  I was frightened, I was apprehensive. I was turned on as hell.  It had taken me years to finally acknowledge that there was more that I wanted when it came to sex than I had ever gotten.   There was a woman inside of me that just wanted to be bad, in a good way.  Who wanted no boundaries when it came to exploring pleasure and even a little pain.  I had kept her locked away all this time.  Never gave her what she wanted for fear of what people would think of her, of me.  What I would think of myself if I let her out.  Recently, for some reason I decided that I didn’t want her locked away anymore.  I wanted her to come and do all the things she had fantasized about.  Yes, tonight I would finally let her come out to play, to explore, to live.  Yes, tonight, I would do this…


Auburn in New York Chapter One

I couldn’t believe I was doing this.   Was I crazy?

No sane woman would actually agree to meet  a man she had met through an online site, especially one with the reputation of  The NY Underground, but here I was, sitting in this cafe waiting to meet him.

Did this really only start less than two days ago?

I don’t know why I was so drawn to him but I was.  I had been since the first time I  read his post.  I don’t know what made me respond to it in the first place.  Maybe it was because it spoke to me or really to the part of me I had always known was there but had kept hidden from everyone, even from myself  for so long.  I like so many other women often perused the personals, never considering responding to one of them.  Most were pornographic, vile in nature.  I didn’t know what made any man think a close up picture of his penis was sexy.  It made my laugh when some of them forgot to take of their wedding rings but claimed to be single.  I wasn’t looking for a soul mate, in fact I wasn’t really looking for anything when I had read through them that evening.  just something to do before going to bed.  It was more just for fun. I would never answer one of them, at 42 I had never even had a one night stand in my life.

As the page refreshed I caught my breath as I read the title of his ad.  It made me stop, made me want to read more than what was just in the subject line.  In just six words, it spoke to me.  ”Stop denying what you really want”  it stated.  I clicked it open and read it.  By the end of the post my heart was pounding and I felt my panties become moist.   This man knew exactly what I had been keeping hidden within me.  Knew what I had always wanted to try but never had the guts to actually ask someone to do.  Knew that it wasn’t a matter of being good or bad, right or wrong, but a matter of pure carnal desire.  He spoke of silk scarves and being tied up. Of relinquishing control to another person. Of blindfolds and spankings.  He spoke of how he knew that I needed to learn how to lose myself to someone else, to let them tell me, to guide me into discovering what my body really wanted.  It was as if he had written it all just for me.  Like the words were meant to be read by the part of me that had been buried deep inside, what I always referred to as the dark corners of my soul.   The part that had always been drawn to a man’s hand on my ass or an urgent command in my ear.   One former lover had slapped my behind once and saw that I liked it, but never did more than one or two light swats,  then stopped.  Ashamed to be thought of as perverse somehow I never asked for more and was left feeling unsatisfied.  Scenes in which a woman was bound always made my body warm but again, I never had the courage to ask any men I had been with to try it with me.   But his words, they spoke to the woman who had never found a lover that was really able to sexually satisfy her.   I always found myself to be the giver, always the one who had to initiate and take care of my lover first, even if it meant almost nothing came of my own sexual needs.  His post told me how he would take care of my needs in a way I had only dreamed of.

For some reason I needed to communicate with the man behind the post  I set up an alternate e-mail address and sent him a reply.  It took me a while to put what I was feeling into words, my breath catching many times as I typed a response.   I didn’t even think I had made any sense in what I had written and as soon as I hit send, I almost wished I could have taken it back.  I could not believe that I had responded to him, telling him that his words spoke to me, telling him my name!

Within two minutes he e-mailed me a response.  His said that he was pleased that I had the courage to respond to him, pleased that his words had reached out and touched that hidden part of me.  He gave me a phone number and told me to call him in five minutes.  He said that if I waited for any time longer than that he would take it that I was not serious and he would never respond to me again.   How did he know that I was still at my keyboard, waiting for a response?  As if reading my mind he immediately sent another e-mail stating that he knew I was sitting there, debating with myself about whether or not to call him.  He told me that he knew I actually wanted to dial the number as soon as I got it but that he wanted me to wait.  That this would be the first of many times he would make me wait, anticipating what would happen next.    I swallowed hard when I read the e-mail and found myself smiling and my body becoming flushed in anticipation.  At five minutes past the time of his first response I dialed the number from my cell, wondering if I should block my number before doing so but deciding not to.  The phone rang and after the fourth ring he picked up and for the first time I heard his low, husky voice.  ”That’s very good Alex” he told me “Very good.  I am so happy that you listened to what I told you.  You must always trust that I will always only do what I know what is good for you. That I will only ask you to do things that I know you really want.”

I gasped at his response and I actually heard him smile over the line.  He asked me to tell him how old I was and when I said 42 I was afraid he would hang up.  He didn’t even seem surprised.   His next question to me was how old I was when I lost my virginity and how many lovers I had been with since then.  I had been seventeen when I gave my virginity to a boy I thought would love me forever.  That forever had lasted a few months after high school graduation and since then I had been with only five other men, always in a relationship of some kind,  never casual, never without some kind of meaning.

He seemed surprised over the low number and then asked me something I was actually reluctant to answer.  ”When was the last time you were with someone Alex?  The last time you let a man touch you, that you had sex?”  I sighed, hesitating and  he asked me again “Answer me, now Alex!”

“Almost three years.” I said quickly like pulling a band-aid off a wound.  I almost expected him to laugh at the length of time.  Instead I heard him sigh, almost moan over the information.

“Very good Alex.  Never hold back from answering when I ask you a question.” he said.  ”Also, there is nothing to be ashamed of.  I welcome this information.  It makes me believe that you and I could be very good together.  I am pleased that what I wrote spoke to you and you found the courage to respond to it.  I don’t think it was easy for you to do, was it?”

“No.” I responded “But I couldn’t help myself,  I felt that…I had to”

“Yes, that is what I wanted to hear.  I need to know that it wasn’t easy for you to admit that this part of you that my words spoke to even exists.  But it does, oh yes, she is there and I know I will be able to help you, to guide you in letting her come out… to play.  You are asking yourself how is it that I know  what you want, what you need.”

“Yes.  It’s…”

“Scary Alex?”

“Yes.”

“There is no reason to be scared.  I will never do anything to you that you don’t really want to do.  And I think you know that, don’t you Alex?”

“Yes.  I think I do.”

“Don’t think, just believe.   Thinking too much is mostly the reason why you have never let yourself go, to really do the things you want. To ask for them.  But you don’t have to worry with me Alex.  I know what you want, what you need.  You will never need to ask me to do things to you, for you.  I will know.  Of course I will bring you to the point whereas you may beg…”

“Oh my.” I heard the words escape from my lips.  I heard him chuckle softly.

“Yes.  And what you are feeling now isn’t really fear.  It’s anticipation.  You are already feeling the effect I have on you, aren’t you?”  he asked.

“Yes.”

“What you are feeling right now Alex is the door opening for that part of you that you have buried inside of yourself, a part that has been shuttered away. I will help you.  In fact, I know I will greatly enjoy helping you.  But you must  open yourself to me.  Trust me to know what you want, what you need.  If you do, if you allow me to tell you what to do, if you allow yourself to surrender to me, to do things I tell you to do,  I will please you in ways you never thought possible. “

I found myself unable to speak.  His voice, the way he spoke to me, how was it possible to feel this way after a two-minute phone call?

“We will meet very soon Alex.”

His words rocked me out of the desire of fog I had been in.  I didn’t know what to say.  I wanted to but…

“Unless of course you have already changed your mind.”  he asked.

“No, I haven’t. It’s just…”

“It’s just what? Are you married Alex?”

“No.”

“Living with someone?”

“No.”

“Then why the hesitation?  You have already taken the most difficult step.”

“I’m just afraid that if we do..”

“Yes?  What are you afraid of?  Me?”

“No, strangely enough, I am actually not afraid of you.”

“Then what is it?” he paused and I was silent.  ”Are you afraid that if we meet I will not want you Alex?”

“Yes.”

“Do you consider yourself attractive?”

“I’m okay.” I mumbled.

“Are you not sexy?”

“No.” I answered quickly.  He laughed. “What’s so funny?” I asked him.

“Oh Alex.  After reading your e-mail and speaking to you for just a short time, I find you to be quite alluring.  Your timidness mixed with your courage to actually admit that you want more, that is very sexy to me.”  I found myself blushing and smiling at his words.  ”Do you touch yourself Alex?”

“What?”

“You heard me.  Don’t pretend that you didn’t.”

“Well, I.. Yes, sometimes I do.”

“Have you been able to achieve orgasm that way?”  he asked and I felt my cheeks warm.

“Yes.”

“Evan.”

“Evan?”

“My name. When I ask you a yes or no answer I want you to say yes or no Evan.”

Of course he would have a sexy name like Evan.  I had yet to lay eyes on him but already knew he was going to be sexy as hell if…when… if I did.

“So…”

“Yes Evan.”

“Good.  When you touch yourself, when you run your hands along your body, when your fingers touch your pussy, are you thinking about your looks or how good it feels?”

“Uh, well, I never thought about it that way.”

“Of course not.  And I will tell you something Alex.  I much prefer curves to a straight road, it’s much more fun that way.”  I blushed again and  wondered if what he said was true or if he was just trying to make me feel better.  I reached for the wine next to me and took a sip. “Do you use a vibrator Alex?”  I coughed on the wine and I heard him chuckle.  ”Alex, you are going to have to get use to me asking you direct questions. Now, do you use a vibrator when you make yourself come?”

“Sometimes.”

“I see. Well, when we meet, I want you to bring it with you. Do you have more than one?”

“No.”

“No..?”

“No Evan.”

“Good girl. We will meet this Friday.”  I mentally recalled that it was Wednesday night.  He wanted to meet in less than two days.  What if I already had plans?  Before I could speak he continued, telling me where to meet him and what time. “Understood Alex?”

“Yes…Evan.”

“If you are not there, I will assume you lost your courage and we will never speak again.  But I know that will be there.  Am I correct in thinking that Alex?”

“Yes Evan.”

“Very good.  Now I want you to do one more thing for me before I say goodnight to you. “

“What is that?”

“I want you to touch yourself””

“What?”

“You heard me Alex.  Right now I want you to take your fingers and run them along the inside of your thigh to your pussy which I know is very wet right now.”

“I..”

“Do it Alex.  I want you to feel how wet you are and know that it’s okay to be wet. It’s okay to anticipate what will happen on Friday when we meet.  I don’t want you to ever, ever be ashamed of having the thoughts you had when you read my post.  I want you to embrace that it is perfectly normal and quite exciting to anticipate what I am going to do to you.”

My breathing became harder as he spoke to me, to the very core of the woman I wanted to be.  My mouth became dry and I took another sip of the wine and then placed the glass down and slowly ran my fingers up my leg towards my most private place.

“Are you touching yourself Alex?” he asked in a  whisper.  My fingers felt the wetness that had permeated my underwear.  They were drenched with the juices flowing from me.

“Yes Evan.”

“Are you wet Alex?”

“Yes Evan.”

“Good. I am going to say goodnight to you now Alex.  We will not speak again before Friday.  But, when you hang up, I want you to close your eyes and think of me.  I want you to make yourself come.  I want you to imagine all the things you want me to do to you because I will do them to you Alex.  I want you to understand that after we meet on Friday, it will be the start of a wonderful time for you, a time in which all the things you were afraid to do, all the things you thought you could never, would never do, that you will do them. Understood?”

“Yes Evan.”

“Good girl.  And just know that while you are there, playing with yourself I will be here, thinking about you and playing with myself.”   I moaned out loud as he told me that and I heard the smile on his face through the phone.  ”Until Friday Alex.  Goodnight.”  And he hung up.

My body was on fire from our conversation and I nearly dropped the phone from my hands.  I pushed my laptop to the side and layed back on my bed.  Slowly I opened the robe I was wearing and removed my underwear which was now soaked in my juices.  I didn’t even bother getting my vibrator from the drawer knowing that it wasn’t going to take long for me to climax.  I closed my eyes and ran my fingers along my labia and then inserted one finger inside of my vagina.  I couldn’t believe how turned on I was by this man who I had yet to meet, but who seemed to already understand me on such an intimate level.  I pressed down and began to circle the outer part of my now swollen clitoris and within a minute felt the familiar pull inside the walls of my vagina.  Just a few more circles, imagining it to be his tongue and not my finger Yes, his mouth, his tongue, his hands.  I wanted them all, wanted them everywhere on my body.  I moaned as I lost myself in orgasm, the power of it shaking my whole body.  The wave seemed to last longer than usual.  It had been a while since I touched myself, played with my body and reached orgasm and now, because he told me told, I was  here, moaning and writhing.  Finally I felt my body calm and my breathing normalize.  I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.  Wow, that had been intense.  I heard the familiar ping on my phone telling me I had a text message.  I closed the robe around my body and reached for my phone.  I gasped when I saw the message was from him.

I hope you enjoyed that Alex although I suspect you came way too soon.   When it is my fingers, when it is my mouth… trust me,  I will take my time and make the anticipation of climax last much, much longer.   As you have most likely already finished, I am just beginning.   Until Friday….

How did he know that I had already reached orgasm?   How did he know anything about me already?  I wasn’t sure how, but I was sure he did.  My mouth was dry and I finished the  wine, placing the empty glass on the bedside table.  I glanced at the clock, it was after eleven and I needed to be up for work at seven.  I shut down the laptop, re-reading his e-mails to me before doing so.  For some reason I glanced at the personal ad page where I had first read his post and realized that it was gone.  He had already removed it since talking to me.  The thought made me smile.  I did not want another woman reading it, responding to it.  Selfishly I wanted to believe that he had written it that night in search of me.  Written it so the dark corner of my soul would respond and contact him.  While it was unrealistic to believe that, I still smiled over the fact that he had already taken it down.  I pulled the cool sheet up around me, covering my naked body and shut off the light to go to sleep.   I couldn’t contain my smile when I thought of what could happen if…when… if …

Now here I was, in the cafe where he told me to meet him… but he was late.