He was late.
The insecurities that always lived inside of me were starting to overtake the confidence I had mustered when agreeing to meet him at this cafe. We had only spoken for a few minutes on the phone Wednesday night but after that conversation I don’t think I could have said no. My stomach had been in knots all day and every time I thought about what could happen my mouth went dry and I found my heart pounding. At least a dozen times during the day I had convinced myself that it was a mistake to go, that I would only be setting myself up for a disappointment. Either Evan would stand me up and I would feel foolish or he would show up, be hideous and I wouldn’t want to be with him or he would see me and walk away. Of course the worst case scenario was that he would turn out to be perfect, that I would go back to his place with him, that he would turn out to be a serial killer and I would be dead by midnight.
I had confided in one friend what I was doing this evening, Mia. She had started working at my office a few years ago and even though she was about ten years my junior, she and I bonded over our love of the Mets as well as our hatred over some of the traveling company bosses who came in a few times a year. She was so many things I had always wished I could be, open-minded and carefree when it came to relationships and sex. She exuded a confidence in her self that attracted men like crazy. She was always urging me to be more open to life, to men, urging me more than once when we had gone out to go talk to a man, let a man buy me a drink, let a man take me home. Of course I had never took her advice and always ended up leaving alone while she left with one handsome man or another. I, unlike others we worked with never judged her. I was actually in awe of the confidence she possessed.
She had noticed something different about me this morning. She actually came into my office at lunch, sat across from me and smiled. “Spill it Alex. What’s his name?” I couldn’t believe it. Was the blush on my cheeks that obvious? I tried to stonewall her but within two minutes she had me spilling my guts. She actually clapped her hands with glee when I told her I had agreed to meet Evan this evening, telling me that it was about time I explored my wild side. She also warned me to be careful, insisting that if I decided to go back to his apartment that I text her the address, just in case I turned up missing. Before leaving the office she came back to my office, gave me a big hug and slipped me a small taser device which she had to explain to me how to use. When finished she told me not to hesitate to use it if I felt I was in danger.
But now, as I sat here in the cafe the only danger I felt I was in was being made to look like a desperate foolish woman. As I sipped my wine I felt my confidence waning fast. When I had entered the cafe twenty minutes earlier my heart had been pounding and I felt the new lace panties I was wearing already starting to get moist. I had yet to lay eyes on him and I already had a burning inside for him. I had looked around the cafe and was disappointed to see no one sitting alone. I took a seat by myself at a small table, ordered a glass of Pinot Grigio and waited and waited. I checked my phone a few times, no messages from him. I accessed my e-mail, again, nothing. How long should I sit here? How much longer would I need to convince myself that I had been a fool to show up in the first place?
I checked my phone once more and decided I had waited long enough. He had said that if I was late that it would tell him I had changed my mind. Obviously he was the one who had changed his mind. I blew out a long, slow breathe and stood up to leave. I felt a head rush and realized the one glass of wine had already affected me probably because I had not be able to put any food in my stomach the whole day. I finished the remnants of the wine and then glanced at the cafe’s large front window and gasped. Evan. It had to be him. I had never set eyes upon him before but knew immediately it was him. He was dressed in a dark grey suit with no tie, the top two buttons on the crisp white shirt undone. His hair was dark and his eyes, dark as well, were memorizing. A small sexy smirk crept across his full lips when he saw that I realized who he was. He then smiled and crooked his finger, inviting me to join him. He then disappeared from my view. Slowly I walked outside and saw him standing next to the cafe. I walked to him, not saying a word. As I got closer, he took a few steps back, a sexy sly smile on his face, his beautiful dark eyes never leaving mine. He crooked his finger again, making me smile as I followed him. As the space between him and the building behind him disappeared he reached out and grabbed my hand. He pulled me to him, spinning my body around and pressing it up against the wall, his body leaning into mine as he held both my hands now with one of his behind my back. He slowly licked his lips, making me gasp. Slowly he tilted his head down and leaned his mouth next to my ear. “I am so glad you decided to show up Alex” he whispered, his low, husky voice making my knees weak. “I’ve been watching you for a while. Wondering how long you would wait for me. I am so happy to see that you have patience.”
He took my earlobe between his teeth and gently bit down, making my body convulse as a low moan escaped my lips. I felt him smile against my neck and the hardness of his cock grow against my thigh. “Are you sure that you are ready to start exploring what you want Alex? All the things I wrote about?” he asked me, again in a low whisper as his lips and tongue began to graze along my lobes and neck. I couldn’t move and wondered for a moment if I was as ready for all this as I had hoped I would be. When I hesitated to answer he pulled my head back gently by my hair and looked down at me, his eyes piercing into mine. He held my gaze and gently ran his tongue across my lips. “I won’t hurt you.” he whispered. “much” he continued and pulled my lower lip with his teeth, biting on it just enough to make me moan again.
“Believe me, harming you is not what I want. There is no pleasure in that. But I do promise you that if you let me, if you let yourself, we will do things that you have never done before. You will feel pleasure in a way you had only dreamed of. Isn’t that what you want Alex? Isn’t that why you agreed to meet me?” he asked again staring me in the eyes. Suddenly his mouth crushed down upon mine and my lips parted as his tongue invaded my mouth. It danced with my own and I was overwhelmed by my desire for this man. I wanted to touch him but his hand held both of mine firmly behind me and that excited me even more. Suddenly he pulled his mouth way from mine and I found myself panting. He smiled at this and nodded. “Yes, that is what you want” he whispered and he was right.
With his free hand he slowly began to trace his fingertips up my body to my chest and then gently cupped my breast. My eyes looked around, we were in public but he didn’t seem to care which only excited me more. His fingers gently traced along the thin fabric of my blouse and I felt my nipple respond, hardening under his touch. A low moan escaped from my throat and this made him smile. He stopped and reached into his pocket, pulling out a card. He ran it along my lip, my chin and down my chest before placing it inside my bra. “I expect you to be at this address in ten minutes. If you are not, I will assume you changed you mind. I hope you don’t. If you show up any later than ten minutes, well, then I will have to find a way to teach you to be more punctual.” He stepped back and released me, smiling as he saw me reach for the wall to balance myself.
His eyes ran down the length of my body, making me feel self-conscious. A look of carnal desire passed over his eyes and he gently bit down on his lower lip. “I can’t wait to get you out of those clothes Alex” he whispered and then without looking back walked away. I watched him as he continued down the block and disappear around the corner.
I felt my body release a deep breath.
Had that just happened?
Did I just let Evan, still a stranger to me, a total sexy as hell stranger kiss and feel me up without saying a word to him? My knees shook and my insides were jumping. The wetness that had started earlier was now in overdrive and I felt the juices about to pour out of me from my most private place. Just the thought of what had just happened, of what could happen next if I met him in ten minutes. I pulled the card from my bra and noticed the address was not too far from where I was now. Would I go there? Could I? I had never done anything like this before. As frightened as a part of me was to go there, a part of me felt alive in a way I hadn’t known before.
Was it in me to do this? I ran my tongue along my bottom lip, already sore from where he had nibbled on it and smiled. Yes, I could. Yes, I would.
For once I would do what my body and not my mind told me to do. I smiled and began to slowly walk down the block and turned at the corner, a smile creeping across my mouth. As I walked, I felt sexy, which was a foreign concept to me. But I did. I felt sexy and had a swing in my step that wasn’t there this morning. About seven minutes later I was standing in front of the building that held the address he had given me. I looked up at the gleaming glass on it, the sun that was beginning to dip in the sky painting it in hues of gold and orange. I sent a text with the address to Mia just in case I turned up missing. I also told her I would text her again in a few hours just to let her know I was alive.
As I approached the entrance a young doorman opened the large etched glass door for me, tipping his hat with a smile. Before I could speak he told me that Mr. James was expecting me and the elevators were to the back and left. How did he know who I was? Did Evan believe that me showing up was that much of a given fact? I tried to smile at him as I walked inside, the cool air making my skin prickly. Evan James, what a great name I thought with a smile as I walked to the elevators, my heels clicking on the marble floor. As I stood at the elevator I glanced at the mirrored panel and stepped back, almost not recognizing the person looking back at me. But then, I realized who I was looking at, it was the woman inside of me yearning to get out, to explore the sexual secrets she had long buried. I smiled…I liked the way she looked. My smile grew wider as the elevator door opened and I stepped in, pressing the button for the thirtieth floor, realizing as I did that it was the top floor in the building.
As the elevator took flight, so did my anxiety. I was frightened, I was apprehensive. I was turned on as hell. It had taken me years to finally acknowledge that there was more that I wanted when it came to sex than I had ever gotten. There was a woman inside of me that just wanted to be bad, in a good way. Who wanted no boundaries when it came to exploring pleasure and even a little pain. I had kept her locked away all this time. Never gave her what she wanted for fear of what people would think of her, of me. What I would think of myself if I let her out. Recently, for some reason I decided that I didn’t want her locked away anymore. I wanted her to come and do all the things she had fantasized about. Yes, tonight I would finally let her come out to play, to explore, to live. Yes, tonight, I would do this…